Once upon a time, about 3 years ago, I used to be an avid Supernatural (yes the TV show) fan. I mean I was addicted. Sam and Dean were not my heroes, but they were the next best thing, the ‘denim clad nightmares’. Watching Supernatural had its positive effects on me. Naive as it may sound, it made me brave. Brave about handling my fear of the paranormal. Scary movies weren’t so scary anymore, nightmares didn’t frighten me. Instead of watching a ghost haunting me, I saw on several occasions that I was hunting them. I usually teamed up with the Winchester brothers (the protagonists of the show) to do the ghost busting, but sometimes I was on my own. The following dream is one such example.

I run a ghost-hunting agency of sorts, and I have about 5 subordinates including my wife (you read that correctly!) and mother. My wife happens to be Whitney Houston (this dream came to me a few days after the singer’s death. If souls exist, may hers rest in peace), although I don’t think that’s her name here. My ‘mother’ looks nothing like my actual mother. Anyway, apart from them there is another woman and two men.

We are looking for a spectre who only has a head, nothing else. She looks similar to the ghost from the Grudge movies, except her skin is the colour of curdled milk. Now she has the ability to possess people, if and only if they are wearing a ring on their right hand. Her presence is very difficult to detect once she does possess someone, apparently she’s a good actress.

Anyway so my dream begins in my own house, although in the dream it belongs to somebody else. We are fully armed with shotguns and knives and whatnot. For some reason we’re even wearing Kevlar vests. We catch glimpses of a white head with long, black hair trailing behind it, bouncing about every now and then. One moment I see her hide behind the refrigerator, the next she seems to emerge from another room and scuttle behind some other piece of home appliance or furniture (teleportation maybe). So we are practically running around the entire house while she successfully keeps eluding all of us.

After a while she seems to disappear all together, no more hopping about. But of course we know she has not left the premises (I have no idea why we were so certain). Anyway we decide to take a break until we sense some activity again.

My subordinates and I have something to drink (no, nothing alcoholic) and we start fooling around (evidently we are friends). It turns out none of us is actually frightened. We have been hunters for a long time now and we have faced worse. Eventually I decide we have relaxed enough and we should get back to work.

“Okay you guys let’s go get this bodyless bitch!”, I announce.

“Remember no rings on your right hand.”, one of the men says.

Everybody begins to check each other’s hands when I suddenly realize my wife has grown very quite. I look at her and she seems pale. I look at her hand and…

“Honey, you’re wearing your wedding ring on your right hand….”, and then it hits me. It hits everybody.

My wife, rather the ghost possessing my wife, makes a run for it. We give chase. I have no idea what I’m going to do if we do catch Whitney (let’s call her that). Kill her?? Apparently we don’t know how to exorcise a spirit. Then I see my mother (you know the one who doesn’t look like my actual mother) appear out of nowhere and hit my wife with a bat, square in the face (ouch!). She falls unconscious and the spirit comes out of her.

I shoot her with my shotgun immediately. TERMINATED!

My mother however does not look relieved.

“We need to move. Quick”, she says to me and turns to walk in the opposite direction.

“What’s going on?”, I ask following her, while one of my men picks up Whitney’s unconscious body.

I don’t remember exactly what she said but the summary is this: An especially notorious spirit that we had been looking for, for a very long time, has sent some kind of warning message to a school. The message says that the school will be run over by an army of ghosts, ghouls, zombies and everything else supernatural at midnight, tonight. And he has challenged me and my team to stop them.

Well fuck.

So we rush to the school and somehow I know what I have to do. I have to kill him. I am, however, having a hard time figuring out how to do it. So we get to the school on a chopper and there is not much time left. To add to that, the school is in a state of pandemonium. Why? They can’t escape. The academy premises have been surrounded by the army.

I know where to find him, the spirit that challenged me (let’s call him Artemious… yes I know it sounds pretentious, bear with me). Hence I go to an abandoned balcony. This is where I had faced off with Artemious the last time, and injured him quite badly. Unfortunately, he escaped. I know he’ll be there, waiting for me.

I reach the narrow balcony and there he is. Rather than fighting him, I decide to block him. I have had a sudden epiphany. I know how to destroy him.

Again this is where my dream ceases to make sense. There is a green caterpillar on a platform outside the railing of the balcony. It is going to be difficult to reach but I know I have to do it. This insect is the source of Artemious’ power (DO NOT ask me how). So I am trying to stop him from reaching me, with some kind of spell (surprise! surprise! I know magic) while I try to grab the caterpillar. I have formed a sort of shield around me, he is pushing it back obviously. He isn’t succeeding but keeping him at bay while trying to grab the bug is making me awfully slow. Finally he loses his patience and decides to unleash his army before time. The school gates open and the legion from Purgatory bursts forth. There isn’t much time left, they arm has already begun hacking at the doors and windows. Some with bare hands, some with their scythes.

I finally grab the caterpillar, just as one of the doors breaks down, and I squish it between my fingers squeezing the life out of it. Artemious burns right before my eyes and turns to nothing in a matter of seconds, thankfully so does his supernatural horde.

The day has been saved.